chatlog:
...
[1]: but do you think there’s
still something out there for
me?
[2]: just face it
[2]: you'll burn yourself out
again trying
[2]: nobody's paying attention
[1]: so i'll just be forever
lost in the noise of the web?
at least i would've tried my
best to get somewhere
[2]: don't be surprised when
it doesn't work out the way
you intended it
...
...
[2]: i feel like i have to
be everything..
[2]: there's so much still
left to work on and so much
to do, it's so overwhelming
[1]: there's only so much
you can do at once
[2]: but is it enough?
...
...
[1]: is it working yet?
[2]: of course not just be
patient
[1]: but what if it’s not
worth it?
[2]: aren’t you doing this
for yourself
[2]: don’t you believe in
yourself?
[1]: well it’s just
[1]: i want to feel like
it’s gonna be fine
[2]: you know it’s not
gonna be handed to you on
a silver platter
...
...
[1]: doesn't it make you
feel better?
[2]: it does.. when it
works out
[2]: but when it doesn't
i just pressure myself
more
[2]: it really eats me up
...
...
[1]: why did you hurt
yourself?
[2]: i didn't mean to
[2]: i just wanted to feel the
dopamine i usually feel
[1]: but why do you keep doing
this?
[2]: i long to be important
[2]: i long to mean something
in the grand scheme of things
[1]: please don't hurt yourself
...
...
[1]: has my mind and my body
ever felt connected?
[2]: what do you mean
[1]: it feels like i think of
myself as a completely
different person
[1]: than how i look on the
outside
...
[user]: hello? anyone there?
...
[2]: aren’t you doing too much?
don’t care to catch a break?
[1]: it still feels good to me
[1]: i can’t bother myself with
empty boredom
...
[2]: will it be worth it in the
end?
[1]: of course it will be worth
it
[1]: this means everything to me
...
...
[1]: it's happening again
[1]: i don't know what to do
[2]: you said it was over
for good
[1]: i know and i'm sorry
[1]: i just can't help it
...