why
30 december 2024
i had already mostly grown out of my first album
by the time i was ready to release it.
it just felt weirdly dissonant, i was putting my real
feelings into my music but then sugarcoating it in this
cutesy edm electropop sound and i felt like everyone
picked up on that instead of what i had to say.
i wanted to make music that evoked my emotions both
tonally and lyrically.
this past year has been weird for me as well, both
personally and as an artist.
i didn’t sell enough cd’s and cassettes to break even,
i kept getting burned out when i invested my time and
energy in doing promo on social media, i found it was
difficult for me to conjure up e-mails to send to
people in the music industry to try to sell myself
as an artist, i was doing live shows here and there
but with every one i felt like something was going
wrong, and i was lucky if i had someone to help me out
during the show and have people that were fans of my
music show up.
i’m still thankful i was able to do all this, and i
don’t mean to sound ignorant, but i’d be lying if i
said these experiences didn’t make me feel alone and
isolated, and didn’t make me reconsider my career as
an artist.
i really wanted to make another album.
i really wanted it to be [mostly] finished by the end
of this year. i really wanted it to be something
significant to the world. something that made me feel
like it was worthwhile to put all this effort into my
music. something that was profound to people. but i
couldn’t get myself to do it if i was going to end up
exactly where i started again.
instead of spending the next two years or so doing that
i decided to take whatever i had already finished and
release it as an ep this year and call it a
‘proof of concept’. at least then i could show everyone
the music i’ve been meaning to make for the longest time.
and i wasn’t going to give in this false hope that i
could get a lot of people to listen to my music really
quickly by making tiktok videos. i wasn’t gonna take my
social media presence seriously at all anymore.
luckily i’ve also met a lot of awesome people this
year and have gotten to hear what my music meant to
people, which reignited the spark for me. i’d like
to focus on my musicianship again in 2025. i’ll
definitely release new music, maybe another ep or
the album i was originally intending. i really want
to continue the live shows as well, and better than
i did previously.
whatever happens though, i don’t think i’ll ever quit
making music, i’ll always have to scratch that itch.
even though i’m flesh and bones it’s my automaton.
if you’ve read this far, thank you for your attention,
i really appreciate it.
i hope it gives some insight to my choices as an
artist.
i wish you a happy new year.